Here are several photos that run the gamut from sexy to girl-next-door. Needless to say, Landon is a lucky man.

And bring on the requests! We always love to hear what you’d like to see.

A photo rife with captioning possibilities. The person who makes me laugh the most gets a . . . er . . . something good.

You know, I did actually feel a bit for Victoria when she said something like, “I wanted to be famous, because when you’re famous you have a voice.” Then I realized the world would be a much better place if we could somehow round up the shallow and self-obsessed and materialistic and keep them quiet.

Gandhi + fame = Good. Mother Teresa + fame = good. Posh + fame? Not so much.

Yes, I DID take my Grinch pills this morning. How did you know?

(Simon Fuller’s power is starting to scare me. How much do you want to bet that our TVs soon start to turn on randomly, all on their own, when things like American Idol air?)

I don’t have the attention span to watch non-soccer television, so I probably won’t be seeing this.

(Hell, I don’t have the attention span to watch YouTube videos.)

Those who do can tell me all about the show. It’s airing Thursday night on ABC. Check local listings, etc. etc. yada yada.

But be forewarned: Barbara Walters has called our duo THE most fascinating people in the world. (Or at least that’s what Kickette says, and Kickette is never wrong.)

Well, I’m rethinking this (or at least their taste levels) after reading the news that Victoria Beckham tops the list of Women Scots Most Want to Sink Their Teeth Into.

(Editorial comment: Botox: It’s what’s for dinner.)

“As this famous night is traditionally a time when ghosts and vampires come out to play, new research* by The National Lottery® has revealed a list of the Halloween hotties Brits would most like to bite. In Scotland Ewan McGregor was named as the top male celebrity and Victoria Beckham the top female we’d most like to sink our teeth into.”

I just think that the less we think about this, the better. So I’m done now.

“The nouvelle WAG: Victoria Beckham
Because America was practically blindsided by the publicity onslaught surrounding the American arrival of the UK’s most famous footballer’s wife; because she had a television series entitled Victoria Beckham Coming To America that was whittled down from six episodes to a one hour special that got dismal ratings and even more dismal reviews; because she has one of the most talked about, recognizable and copied haircuts of 2007; because she redefined the word ‘major’ for the American lexicon; and because her signature pout and gigantic sunglasses are fast becoming as iconic as Anna Wintour’s – Victoria Beckham is a prime candidate for those out there who want to go the glamazon drag route for Halloween this year. Just be sure to stand straight, never smile, tilt your head ever so and wear the fiercest pumps you can get your hands on. That’s how Posh would do it.”

Don’t ask me how I find these things. They find me.

And I was so pleased to see that they didn’t go for the cheap American adjective “nouveau” when the proper French word is the feminine “nouvelle.” Gay men do seem to know their French.

I mean…um… Yeah.

“They do great bras, and every girl wears a bra. And they should – at some point in their life. Unless they don’t need to wear one,” Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown told PEOPLE Monday night.

Spoken with every iota of the intelligence we’ve come to expect from the Spice Girls.

For the true humor of this choice, look at this photo — one of many with the same theme — from a few short months ago. (Again, this picture was shamelessly stolen from The Offside Rules, a blog that is, amazingly, even more irreverent than mine.)

I have nothing further to add.

I need a caption for this Posh photo!

Come on. You know you want to.

(Do be sure to stop by this week, though. I’ll see if I can’t set up a couple more posts to go off while I’m gone. Have a great week!)

Second thing: This post is about Victoria Beckham singing. And I think it’s only fair that I should warn you that the last time I tried to listen to Victoria sing, it nearly caused me to get a ticket.

My family was headed down to the coast for a vacation, and I stopped by the library to pick up some CDs to pass the time on the drive. I grabbed “Bend It Like Beckham,” because I liked the movie and because it was there. (The CD turned out to be mediocre, but that’s not relevant here.) The important thing is that Victoria has a solo song on the CD. Yes, it’s true.

So the song was playing, and I’m paying close attention, trying to find anything resembling a melody, and I somehow missed the fact that I was driving through a little speed trap town where the speed limit dropped from 40 to 25 for no reason. (Hate those places.) And because I was focused on Victoria, I also did not see the police car (lights, no siren) that apparently followed me for close to a mile. (And no, I am normally nowhere close to this oblivious — I’ve had one ticket in my entire life.)

Somehow my husband and I together managed to talk me out of a ticket, but this event will be forever linked in my mind to Victoria Beckham’s singing. So I feel it is my duty to warn you that she’s at it again.

Not only will Victoria be singing a solo on the Spice Girls Greatest Hits album, she will also apparently be singing a solo during her cameo on “Ugly Betty,” where rumor has it she will be playing Vanessa Williams’ bridesmaid.

Or maybe she’ll just lip-sync.

(Why is the movie “Singing in the Rain” popping into my mind?)

But, alas, he is now proving the old adage that everyone’s a whore given the right price. He’s writing a song for the “Spice Girls Greatest Hits” album, due out next month from Victoria Beckham and her fellow Spices.

Umm… Maybe I’m being a little too technical here, but in order for something to be a “Greatest” hit, doesn’t it first have to be a “hit”? Or am I missing something?

“There’s been a bit of unease as to how the album will perform and if there’s still a solid Spice Girls’ fan base out there.

“Bono’s involvement has lifted the whole camp and he’s delighted to have been asked and add his experience.”

Plus I’m sure Victoria promised him free sunglasses. That had to be the main selling point.

But at least he’ll be in good company. Rumor has it that George Michael (you know, from Wham!) will also be writing the girls a song. So we have that to look forward to.