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A Beckham $1.8 million Diamond-Encrusted Sex Toy? OVERSHARE!!!!!!!

By: Laurie | July 9th, 2007

I knew this day would come sooner or later, and it has.

Beckham overload!! Posh and Becks OVERSHARE! TOO MUCH EFFING INFORMATION!!!!!!!

What pushed me over the edge? A teensy little paragraph in Grahame Jones’ three-page ode to Brand Beckham’s lavish life of conspicuous consumption:

On another occasion, while Victoria was expecting their third child, Beckham spent $1.8 million for a diamond-encrusted sex toy with matching 16-carat diamond necklace.

Oh, ick.

And it’s not just that. Is anybody else shuddering at the combination of the words “sex toy” and “encrusted”?

ACK! ACK!! I’m feeling like I need to cough up a hairball.

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Laurie

Gray, my problem with this is I'm having trouble figuring out what the Lakers would get from having rights to Posh...
Gray

The more I think about this, the more I hope something like this would happen ..:)
http://theoutsidescoop.com/kob...
Laurie

Nathan, since both you and Bob have mentioned that song, I thought I'd pull from the lyrics to see what might apply in this situation. How about:

"Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square cut or pear shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

Or:

"He's your guy when stocks are high
But beware when they start to descend
It's then that those louses go back to their spouses
Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

Hey, don't look at me. I'm not the one who wrote it.
Nathanhj

No, no, just that, I mean, if you want the best a grrl can get, then, well, you know, diamonds are a grrl's best friend.

I'm sure that Posh finds DB to be satisfying as well in the flesh, as it were.
Laurie

So Nathan, are you saying there's perhaps some...um...compensation going on?
Nathanhj

Laurie,

I'd just like to point out that diamonds are the, umm, hardest naturally occurring substance in the world.
Laurie

Dan, yes. Is this the paragraph o' gold or what?
Dan

... matching necklace ...
Diane

Bless.
Laurie

Rasheed, I wasn't going to say it.

Diane, who's here for you, sweetheart? You can always count on me to go for the lowest common denominator.
Diane

Well I guess if we can give up yams we can give up bejewelled penises. Oops, did I just admit that I'd read about the alleged gift in past or did the article specify? Maybe he was sending a sparkly sculpture of himself...they do say he's into art...

I have become SUCH a geek, plaything went right over my head in that article and this was the teensy little paragraph that caught my eye instead:

"Who is this guy?
Leaving soccer and Beckham's many accomplishments on the field with Manchester United, Real Madrid and in three World Cups with England out of it altogether..."

I wondered what a sportswriter would therefore leave IN and, as always, LA Galaxy Offside is here with the answer! Thank GAWD.
Rasheed

Diamonds on a sex toy seem more painful than lavish.

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