Have You Gone Sour on Beckham?

By: Laurie | September 22nd, 2007

I came to an unexpected realization today.

I was reading yet another article about the Brand Beckham glam and wealth and Hollywood lifestyle. I don’t remember what this one was about. Maybe it was all the fashion week appearances with Posh. Or the shirtless cellphone ad. Or the fact that he’s supposedly designing the outfits for the Spice Girls reunion tour. Or any number of the things he’s done recently that have scored him vast amounts of cash and glamor and are completely unrelated to soccer.

And I realized something: He’s starting to piss me off.

Yes, I KNOW he would love to be playing if he could. And I KNOW that he seems to be a decent guy who’s dedicated to his craft and sincere in his desire to help MLS. And I KNOW that one of the reasons he’s currently out injured is that he gave more than he should have for the team without taking the time to heal from the previous injury.

I also know that my team is in the cellar with no hope of redemption this season and David is sucking up millions of dollars in both salary and merchandising. I read somewhere that he gets an estimated 40-50% of all Beckham jersey sales. (I’m assuming this is of profits rather than revenues, but I could be wrong.) MLS gets the rest. The Galaxy? Nothing except from what’s sold in its own store.

What’s wrong with this picture?

He’s making out like a bandit and our team is screwed and has absolutely nothing to show for all the trauma they went through and the costs they incurred to get ready for him. If I have to look at yet another smoldering, bedroom-eyes megabucks ad photo, I’m going to slap somebody.

My feelings are not logical. They’re not rational. They will probably go away again immediately as soon as he dons a Galaxy jersey and starts delivering those “perfectly weighted throughballs.”

But for now I’m feeling a troubling amount of agreement with Radar Magazine’s wickedly snarky assessment of Posh and Becks as the most overrated things in America.

It’s not that they’re untalented—they arch their backs nicely in porny W fashion shoots. They’re excellent at peddling fragrances. And when it comes to lending suspect Scientologists an air of heterosexuality, there’s nobody better.

And now you have heard my confession for the week.