Kyle Martino a Diver? Surely They Jest!

Chivas midfielder and Beckham’s all-round favorite person Jesse Marsch has given us a surprisingly well-written blog post on 100 Percent Soccer. The topic? Diving.

Seems he’s against it.

And who does he call out specifically? Carlos Ruiz (FC Dallas) and Brian Ching (Houston.) And all Brazilians, just as a matter of general principle.

No argument about El Pescadito (Ruiz) from me. He spends more time on his back than… Oh, never mind.

I missed the Houston games, though, so I don’t feel qualified to comment on Chingy. And Brazilians? Okay, whatever.

What caught my attention, though, were the later thoughts of regular 100 Percent Soccer writer Nick Green, who says:

Who do you think are the worst culprits at faking injury?

My nominee: the Galaxy’s Kyle Martino.

If memory serves, he won two penalties in quick sucession by ramping up the drama when he fell in the penalty box. Now referees have caught on and Martino just flails dramatically to no avail.

And looks silly.

Kyle Martino? OUR Kyle Martino?

Okay, sure, there were those little July 4 episodes the guy refers to. But I have entirely convinced myself that these were legitimate (if marginally exaggerated) reactions to real, actual fouls. This is the story I will carry with me until death. Because our Kyle can’t be a diver. It’s not possible because… Well, because I like Kyle Martino.

(As I have said before, when you write enough about somebody’s groin, it’s kind of a bonding experience.)

And for me, when I see one of my guys actually diving, I mean really diving… Well, it’s a little like having small children and watching in horror as one of them does something like bite a playmate. You want to say, “But…but…but don’t you know? My kids don’t DO that!!” I’m not particularly fond of that feeling.

So, therefore, my boys don’t dive.

End of story.

(Kyle, are you listening?)

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Category: Player News