MORE Zidane to MLS Rumors

By: Laurie | April 12th, 2007

I don’t know that this is really news, but the Zidane-to-Galaxy rumor has spread to Italy. Martha sent me this fantastic article Google-translated from the Italian. (I LOVE Google translations. They give people the world over an excuse to drink large quantities of alcohol, because I don’t think it’s possible to figure out what they say when you’re sober.) But at any rate. My favorite part of this article

“True E’ and every square has straight to go beyond the roof for a single player, than for we it is Beckham. But in rose we also have Landon Donovan, the better player American, therefore we had acquired the possibility to go around the “salary CAP” for an other athlete. Hour that has opened the Zidane track, we have spalmato the contract of Donovan on the next season so as to to be in rule if Zizou will decide to come from we”.

I’m far too sober to figure that out. Doesn’t “spalmato the contract” sound like something you’d see on “Sopranos”? (Watch your back, Landon.) But it seems to be saying that we can bring in Zidane next year, because we can just dump Landon and use the magically appearing second DP slot to bring in Zizou. Because Italy SO understands how that DP thing works.

But wait! This just into my inbox! TribalFootball, the site that thrives on unsubstantiated rumors, confirms what the Italian article says! So it must be true!!

LA Galaxy president Tim Leiweke has confirmed an offer is on the table for Zinedine Zidane to come out of retirement and join his ex-Real Madrid teammate David Beckham at the MLS club this year. “We have contacted his entourage about coming to play for us this year,” Leiweke told Gazzetta dello Sport. “He knows our door will always be open. His contract won’t be a problem.” Despite working to a salary cap, Leiweke says the Galaxy are cleared to sign Zidane and Beckham for this MLS season, which kicked off last weekend.

When somebody figures out how this works financially, let me know, okay? Because I’m dying to hear the salary cap and DP manipulations and shenanigans that would be required to make this happen. Still, though? Anything, however fallacious, that keeps the Zidane-to-Galaxy myth alive is golden as far as I’m concerned.

P.S. Technically Zidane has never, ever, not even once, activated my maternal area. Just so you know.

(And yes, this article did start out as part of the previous one. But when I got hit by the TribalFootball article, I decided it deserved a post of its own. And it had NOTHING to do with me being able to post another Zidane picture, okay?)

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Category: Player News

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lance

does any one think that ronaldo is gonna come to the mls?
Austin

Clint, just who do you think are the four best players in the MLS?

-sure Beckham, Zidane, and Donovan, but who else from Galaxy? and why not Reyna? Personally I think he is clearly one of the best in MLS
Laurie

Rocky Mountain Oysters = Fried Bull Testicles

Everybody should try them once. :-)
Sam

Congratulations, you lost me.
Laurie

Ooh, this Colorado girl has TOTALLY actually eaten Rocky Mountain Oysters at some place outside of Greeley that I can't remember the name of. Many years ago.
Sam

"But in the Major League Soccer there is a roof pays wages to them."

True, true.
Ian

Laurie - done and done. Spalmatto: verb: to wait on the extension of one player's contract in hopes that another, better player is on the way.
Clint

Disgrazia! How could I have forgot about Cleetus, the Slackjawed Yokel!

So what is the bet gonna be when Nie plays the Crapids, Martha? Some cannolis vs. a dozen rocky mountain oysters?
Laurie

Martha, too funny. You beat me to the melon enorme line while I was writing mine!!
Laurie

Oh, Ian, I would SO like to be the go-to person for all things spalmato!

(And to think I was once so incredibly proud of having pretty much the entire Google search for "melon enorme" lead back to me. But being the Spalmato Woman would CMPLETELY leave that experience in the dust.)
Martha

Brilliant! It's destined to be the next "melon enorme!"
Ian

Oh yeah, that contract is totally spalmattoed. I'm hoping that Google translators actually lead to new international slang like "spalmattoed". At some point in the next week, I pledge to use the word "spalmattoed" in one of my blogs and link to this blog. Yay. Soon, we at Offside will have the market cornered on search engine requests for the word "spalmattoed"."
Martha

Spalmato may be a version of spalmare, which means "to spread." Which, of course, makes the article perfectly clear. (Maybe Landon could rework his contract so he's owned less at the front end, or something?)

Clint, you best not be counting that little shit (AKA Landon) as one of the best four players in MLS. Maybe you've heard of a guy by the name of Cletus, playing in Nie? Come on, man. If nothing else, he's less of a snotty girl than Landon. Yeah, I said it.
Clint

If Zidane heads to the Galaxy wouldn't that mean LA has to win every game? At that point, the four best players in MLS will be on one team. Can we change the team name to the Chelsea Galaxy?