Pssst! Alexi! Go With the French Guy!

By: Laurie | February 14th, 2007

Eight-hundred hopeful (and occasionally delusional) soccer players tried out in the Galaxy open tryouts last weekend. Of those, two earned an additional one-week trial with the team. One of these was Portuguese. 24-year-old midfielder Rui Fortes, and one was French, 22-year-old forward/midfielder Laurent Merlin. (This is totally irrelevant, but the French guy happens to share his name with a French cognac brand. I’m not sure if this is familial or coincidental.)

“Merlin and Fortes are raw but they showed some potential, and therefore their adventure will continue,” said Galaxy President and General Manager Alexi Lalas. “It remains to be seen if both can adapt to the MLS level.”

Fine and dandy. But since I know everybody is wondering what I think, well, here’s my advice to anyone and everyone associated with the Galaxy:

Go with the French guy.

No, I’ve never seen him play, although his credentials are good. Time spent playing for France at the U-18 and U-19 levels. A couple of years with the not-inconsequential French team Marseille, followed by time at AC Ajaccio on Corsica, and most recently with Ligue 2 team Chateauroux. So he comes with some credibility.

But now that we’ve established his bona fides…Well the reasoning behind my recommendation is more basic.

Galaxy guys, you are trying to build a fan base beyond your teenage male demographic. A female fan base would be especially good, because the women will drag their men, families and friends to the games. Am I right? So allow me to let you in on a basic fact of life: Put this guy on the team, and then put him in front of a microphone. Females will feel a French accent all the way down to the bottom of their XX chromosomes.

Or…er…so I’m told.

Disclaimer: For the record, if I were speaking from personal experience (which I’m NOT, of course, being, y’know, happily married and all), I would be speaking about, say, theoretically, the France 1998 World Cup team demographic. Not the twenty-two-year-old current player demographic. Which would be just…icky.

Although my younger female friends and relatives tell me this guy is also rather easy on the eyes. So what I say stands.

Are you listening, Alexi?