Who the Hell is Abel Xavier and What’s He Doing With the Galaxy?

By: Laurie | May 15th, 2007

Yeesh, I spend one day traveling and all hell breaks loose.

Remember just a week ago, when I was talking about the absurd Barthez-to-Galaxy rumor? I said that there were three requirements for a player to be linked to the Galaxy.

1) Is he over 30?
2) Is he European?
3) Is he currently in what we might euphemistically call a “transitional phase” of his career?

Well, that particular rumor had no substance, but this one is apparently no longer in the rumor phase. Abel Xavier, who can play either as right back or center back, has “come to terms” with the Galaxy. He’ll be eligible to join the team when the next transfer window opens on June 15.

Let’s see. Over thirty? Yup. He’s thirty-four. European? Does Portuguese count? And “transitional phase”? Last week’s news was that he was unable to come to terms with Middlesbrough.

In the immortal words of Bob, “This one fits into the what the f*ck? category.”

Xavier is a 34-year-old Portuguese defender with 20 international caps to his name. His resume includes stops at Estrela Amadora, Benfica, Bari, Real Oviedo, PSV, Everton, Liverpool, Galatasaray, Hannover 96, Roma and Middlesbrough. In other words, he has played everywhere and he has managed to do so despite having to sit out a year after testing positive for steroids following a UEFA Cup match in 2005.

Let’s see. What else can we find out about our new boy Abel? Let’s check with Wikipedia, shall we?

Xavier is widely regarded as a utility back player but fits the role of a holding midfielder when the necessity arises. Although still regarded as one of the original stalwarts of the Portuguese National team, Xavier’s reputation as a footballer has waned and he will, probably, largely be remembered as one of the many players who never fulfilled his potential as well as for his eccentric hairstyles.

And what does Alexi Lalas have to say about Abel?

“Abel brings immense experience and a wonderful personality to our team,” said LA Galaxy President and General Manager Alexi Lalas. “He’s a great defender and we’re excited that he’s coming to LA.”

Because hell, yeah. Immense experience, wonderful personality and hairstyles are everything. While we’re at it, let’s bring in Dennis Rodman.

(And is this the sign that Chris Albright is on his way out the door?)